No Country for Old Men (2007) . . .

The list of cultural references for college professors to familiarize themselves with as the college class of 2012 (or 2013, 2014, 2015) begin as freshmen has been updated. Oi.

Beloit College Mindset List
A snapshot of the world view of the Class of 2012
1. Harry Potter could be a classmate, playing on their Quidditch team.
2. Since they were in diapers, karaoke machines have been annoying people at parties.
3. They have always been looking for Carmen Sandiego.
4. GPS satellite navigation systems have always been available.
5. Coke and Pepsi have always used recycled plastic bottles.
6. Shampoo and conditioner have always been available in the same bottle.
7. Gas stations have never fixed flats, but most serve cappuccino.
8. Their parents may have dropped them in shock when they heard George Bush announce "tax revenue increases."
9. Electronic filing of tax returns has always been an option.
10. Girls in head scarves have always been part of the school fashion scene.
11. All have had a relative — or known about a friend's relative - who died comfortably at home with hospice.
12. As a precursor to "whatever," they have recognized that some people "just don't get it."
13. Universal Studios has always offered an alternative to Mickey in Orlando.
14. Grandma has always had wheels on her walker.
15. Martha Stewart Living has always been setting the style.
16. Haagen-Dazs ice cream has always come in quarts.
17. Club Med resorts have always been places to take the whole family.
18. WWW has never stood for World Wide Wrestling.
19. Films have never been X rated, only NC-17.
20. The Warsaw Pact is as hazy for them as the League of Nations was for their parents.
21. Students have always been "Rocking the Vote."
22. Clarence Thomas has always sat on the Supreme Court.
23. Schools have always been concerned about multiculturalism.
24. We have always known that "All I Ever Really Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten."
25. There have always been gay rabbis.
26. Wayne Newton has never had a mustache.
27. College grads have always been able to Teach for America.
28. IBM has never made typewriters.
29. Roseanne Barr has never been invited to sing the National Anthem again.
30. McDonald's and Burger King have always used vegetable oil for cooking french fries.
31. They have never been able to color a tree using a raw umber Crayola.
32. There has always been Pearl Jam.
33. The Tonight Show has always been hosted by Jay Leno and started at 11:35 EST.
34. Pee-Wee has never been in his playhouse during the day.
35. They never tasted Benefit Cereal with psyllium.
36. They may have been given a Nintendo Game Boy to play with in the crib.
37. Authorities have always been building a wall across the Mexican border.
38. Lenin's name has never been on a major city in Russia.
39. Employers have always been able to do credit checks on employees.
40. Balsamic vinegar has always been available in the U.S.
41. Macaulay Culkin has always been "Home Alone."
42. Their parents may have watched "The American Gladiators" on TV the day they were born.
43. Personal privacy has always been threatened.
44. Caller ID has always been available on phones.
45. Living wills have always been asked for at hospital check-ins.
46. The Green Bay Packers (almost) always had the same starting quarterback.
47. They never heard an attendant ask "Want me to check under the hood?"
48. Iced tea has always come in cans and bottles.
49. Soft drink refills have always been free.
50. They have never known life without Seinfeld references from a show about "nothing."
51. The Windows 3.0 operating system made IBM PCs user-friendly the year they were born.
52. Moscow residents have always been able to buy Big Macs.
53. The Royal New Zealand Navy has never been permitted a daily ration of rum.
54. The Hubble Space Telescope has always been eavesdropping on the heavens.
55. 98.6 F or otherwise has always been confirmed in the ear.
56. Michael Milken has always been a philanthropist promoting prostate cancer research.
57. Offshore oil drilling in the United States has always been prohibited.
58. Radio stations have never been required to present both sides of public issues.
59. There have always been charter schools.
60. Students always had Goosebumps.

I'm pretty sure that many students aren't aware of many things on this list, Michael Milken? Club Med resorts? Maybe they are polling a different social strata than I'm familiar with.

Remember Sammy Jankis!


Secret Window (2004) . . .

So, a few moments ago my boss walked up to my door with one of those uncomfortbale looks that makes your butt clench and you ponder what you did wrong. "Uhm, Alan, what would you think of moving to a different office?"

. . .

"Uhm, I don't know?"

Seems they are hiring a new person to replace an attorney who left here last month and the new person apparently really wants access to a window. The office they're asking me to move to has no window, but it is approximately double the size of my current office. And the desk alone is probably the same size as the desk I have currently and the two small computer tables I have in the office. I was assured that if I want to stay in my office I can, but they would appreciate if I would consider moving.

So, I started to contemplate. Hmmm, it is pretty nice to be able to look out my window at the capitol lakes. I would miss my window. Hmmmm, in the summer the sun is awfully bright and beats on my window and makes my office hot so I keep the blinds closed anyway. Hmmm, a bigger office would be nice for spreading out my junk. Hmmm, do I really want more space in which to cover with junk? etc. etc. And why are they first asking the most junior analyst in the office if he wants to move into the big office? Is there something wrong with it that I don't know about?

Anyway, before I had finished contemplating the secretary in our office decided on my behalf that I am moving because she wants to go ahead and schedule everything (I guess Kristy may have mentioned to her my inability to make a decision at some point?). So, I guess I'll be moving into a new office in the next few weeks. I am going to have them paint it, though. I need to create some difficulty for someone else in this, right?

Remember Sammy Jankis!


Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back (1980) . . .

Man, if only someone had gotten around to this before three prequels and the fourth Indiana Jones movie, huh?

Remember Sammy Jankis!